rekallabrate: the podcast

31 | My Dad is Dead & Now I Know Grief

rekallabrate Season 1 Episode 31

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In this episode, I cry. This one’s all about my dad, our difficult relationship, his death, & the grief I walk with now.


I tell the story of my relationship with my dad—which was extremely difficult & ugly at times—& how we eventually found our way to forgiveness. I talk about the fights we had even after I “forgave” him, the slow way we rebuilt, & what healing actually looked like for us. I get into how ayahuasca helped me see him differently, love him differently, & what I did when I came home from that ceremony.


I get into the timeline of events, his last few months, & our last moments together. I’ll tell you where I was when he died & how I handled the news. & then I get into how everything has unfolded, shifted, & changed since his death. 


I walk with grief now in a way that I didn’t up until my dad’s passing. It is ever present, yet changing. I get into that, too. 


Basically, if you’ve ever wanted to know what it’s like to forgive a parent & then lose them, this episode is for you. 


It is my hope that everyone listening feels inspired to forgive a parent, call a parent, anticipate death & grief, or at least feel not so alone in their grief. 


I believe that through the power of vulnerable & authentic storytelling, we can change the world. To let ourselves be moved by another’s story is one of the easiest ways to change the world. 


Thank you for seeing me, honoring my grief, loving me through it. I am so grateful to have this community of people who love me & care about my journey—the good, the bad, the grievey.


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Instagram: @rekallabrate
Website: rekallabrate.com (merch, herbal products, & more on the way!)